well shucks
isn’t that what they say?
I’m too tired to cry
and it’s been prodding at my eyes all day.
I have been near
total adherence,
coronation, simple-minded
vibration. I am
separated.
maybe I just don’t have it.
maybe there’s nothing to see,
no goal to reach, nothing to
find out, isolate, quarantine.
maybe today’s not the day, but
I felt so damned upset earlier.
like a child.
tired and overwhelmed.
crying because I just want to rest
and be comfortable.
it’s too hot in this apartment,
and it’s too hot outside,
and there’s no rest for the wicked.
And I don’t want to ask my roommate what’s
up with the AC. I don’t want to hit a pressure point,
I don’t want to hit on something that might be
a bit of a dealbreaker, a reason to leave.
but I can barely think in here, much less breathe.
I don’t want to create more work for her, I don’t want to be
a nuisance. I don’t know where I got this idea that I am,
but I have a sickening sense that I’ve had it this whole time.
so here I am
sweating on my bed
worrying about how much noise I’m making
feeling simultaneously alone and like a nuisance
afraid to ask simple questions, oh, I’ll just do it
tomorrow. next time for sure!
annoying. a source of nothing but
exasperation and contempt.
setting off smoke alarms.
the place that contains the list of the containers of words